i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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