Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
