Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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