I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
