Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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