i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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