i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
