I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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