By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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