you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
