just tell him i said nine months
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
