Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
