Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
