I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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