So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
