Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
