Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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