We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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