Someone shit on the floor
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
