I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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