garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
