I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
