I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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