Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
