one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
