Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
