I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
