Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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