Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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