i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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