addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize