I'm really into asian looking animals
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
