i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
