remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so let's talk penis.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
