i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
