last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
