i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
