What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
