I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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