Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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