shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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