Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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