he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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