yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
