dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize