I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
