Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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