I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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