did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
