She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
