I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
