wakey wakey hands off snakey
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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