Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
