my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
