Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
