hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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