Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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