your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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